Central dilemma: If your pain was truly acknowledged, would you be left for dead?
Just like how the other fours under-express emotions through sublimation, although in more dramatic/tangible ways, the self-preservation four feels they need to redeem their survival-based desire for animalistic hedonism through a perpetual masochism, by being the person who "toughs it out without making a sound." Although of course, they do make a sound, but it takes a subliminal form - an artistic/creative reaction to death. It's the redemption of a gross, banal passion into something more meaningful.
You see, there is a deep-rooted psychosomatic self-repulsion - a poignant feeling that the self shouldn't exist, more specifically, isn't worthy of existing. From this stems the need to 'redeem themselves' by creating meaning through personal sacrifices. But don't misunderstand; these sacrifices are not obligatory, they stem from guilt surrounding hedonism and giving the self what it really craves. "Death threatens the hedonist."
What I mean by this is that death symbolizes "the end of the good" and "things being left unrecognized." Self-preservation includes, after all, resources both concrete and abstract, one of which is time. Time is a pair of disembodied hands demanding more off your plate. This is where the sunniness thin layer of warmth, "mother's quilt" comes from: super-egoic demands to earn merits for oneself, to prove to oneself that one is deserving of replete existence before the hourglass runs out. One way this can be done is through alleviating the pain of others by acknowledging its influence and not sugarcoating or reframing it, it's a thin layer of being there, an unheard cry for parental warmth; which covers a defensive, well-hidden elusivity, demanded by a strong super-ego telling you that openly crying is about as exciting a way of expressing your pain as saying "I'm sad." You have to earn your rights through something more sublime, more refined.
But what truly belies that elusive nature? That cold reserve carefully compensated for?
It is that distinguisher from 9, of course, that heart-type concern with possessing wealth, as in personal abundance. For 2, wealth is given away and felt if received, insulting if denied. For 3, real wealth is confused with its image and has to be earned to be felt. For 4, wealth is kept close to the breast and carefully cultivated, evaluated according to its resemblance to personal criteria of wealth, always undergoing refinition.
Is that wealth enough? Is that one distinctive factor you possess significant enough to redeem you from the mundane? Or does it need bolstering through close contact with what feels meaningful to you? Hmm.
Thus, the need for solitude; the long, winding personal journey with peaks and troughs. The heightened sensitivity to aesthetics and ambiance, the investment in suffering as a means of redemption. Self-preservation compounds with this drive in a need for redemptive pain of the self-contained variety, the kind only you understand and only you can fix with a practical streak.
You feel cheated, that you have to work hard to obtain what others were born with and take for granted. But at least you have those things which are entirely yours.
"The 4th point's true ideals are rising to the top in various expressions that are unknown to the outside observer and as such the true nature of such an individual is obfuscated to the outside world" [quote from Ichazo].
Only one person gets attention at a time. Mother's (or father's) love is scarce and/or preferential. And sometimes you can't help but wonder: is your heart beating in vain?
CRUX: If your pain was truly acknowledged, would you be left for dead?
We already know that sp-concerned 4s are propounders of the saying "time is of the essence." We have not discussed how these strong chronological pressures relate to their relatively hardworking nature, and how this further relates to a sense that love is scarce and must be 'out-earned.' Those shimmering eyes, promises of nutrition which may be the difference between life and death, fall on you for only a second, and in that second you must show the fruits of your labor; you must not be a pathetic excuse, or a dying runt regardless of how you feel inside, these feelings must be sublimated and understood only by people willing to make the investment.
You must work hard to cover your bases, in case an ephemeral glance is cast your way. You will be judged according to what you have done, what you have managed for yourself.
Yet, these tensions do have to betray themselves occasionally, in moments where judgment cannot bite, or in a cathartic state of reckless self-abandon; hence the characterization.
After extended periods of tearing one's skin, deep hatred of one's own physical existence as a body which has to do things to survive, the floodgates must open. Thus the origin of the "dauntless" descriptor was born, if you were confused about that. Indulgence is the denouement following the climax of psychosomatic tension for sp-concerned 4s.
Their insular impulses, their sensuality, their need for the tactile and orgasmic - stemming from the 4's need for emotional intensity and extravagance - must at some point reveal themselves, in childish blunder. In the interim between effervescences, the 4 works hard to ensure all of their bases are covered, to secure their resources, and to cleanse themselves of regrets, many of which were caused by the latest outburst of 'foolhardiness' (of course, whether or not their behavior was actually foolhardy is a matter of debate, standards vary).
The deed is done, the masochism kicks back in to right the wrongs through self-destruction followed by an increase in self-demand. To show you are sorry for what you've done.
[This is conjecture, but from personal observations I believe that these outbursts are usually foreshadowed by their work leading up to the event, especially if they do art]
These outbursts are further intensified by constant feelings of frustration with life circumstances, that signature 4 despising-the-hand-they-were-dealt inclination.
This frustration results in further demands and higher standards regarding their work and output; it becomes all the more important to make stuff that has meaning to you in a world of ugliness and unfulfillment.
Commonly present are idealizations of geographical distance, self-preservation implements a spatio-temporal component into type structures. Frustration with the flaws of the present causes desperation about finding something good, and things often look better from afar!
The 4 wants their specialness and inner diamonds to be uncovered, but self-preservation has unique issues with self-revelation. The shame and self-consciousness make it feel as if it’s not worth it, you become warm and then, elusive. Not exactly what people want from a person. This, of course, increases feelings of defectiveness and being misunderstood.